Is He Wearing Bottoms?

June 15, 2010

My recent trip to Hawaii yielded innumerable Hurts To Look quality images and stories. I love the Honolulu state for their diverse culture and ability to attract tourists with fashion sense bordering on the unfathomable.

While having a pleasant water-side breakfast at my hotel, I noted an unusually dressed gentlemen at the adjacent table. Immediately, a line from one of my favorite comedy movies, Norbit, ran through my head. The phrase “are you wearing bottoms” had materialized right in front of my eyes.

Firstly, his obvious lack leg wear large enough to cover his thighs brought attention to his ashy white legs. Where is the lotion when you need it? Secondly, his black socks and shoes do nothing to compliment the pallor of his limbs. Thirdly, the plaid, long-sleeved shirt has been inappropriately-repurposed to act as a cover up.

Dude, get some shorts! Other diners don’t deserve the vomit-in-my-mouth-inducing experience induced by your fashion offense. It is so Hurts To Look that I would taste my own vomit just to be a witness.

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